Why I Write: And Do Not Care
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect — Anaïs Nin
Writing makes me feel free and whole. I have so many thoughts good and bad, weird, and funny somebody gotta hear them. We all do I just like writing it out. When I was younger I hated small talk, it was unnecessary, and it made me skeptical. It was just easier to deal with people as a unit that later made it difficult for me to be open and personal. So, nobody really got to know me truly and deeply.
I had a friend who asked me “who am I?” after High School, and I remember not being able to answer it. You grow up and later discover you still do not know — get a job, travel, money, comfort, and so on. Hard to enjoy it if you do not know your personal purpose. So, everyone is responsible for showing you better. That is a lot of power given to someone who may not know you either. So, if I was not comfortable speaking, I would write how I felt and throw it out. I did not even trust the paper I was expressing myself on. So, I never kept a diary.
But I love to escape, travel or daydreaming was a coping mechanism life was boring. It was I that was bored, and I feared people would know that they too bored me. So, I kept up with the reality I created for myself. Now, I have high functioning anxiety, burnt out, and sitting across from a very egotistical man. I hired as a therapist, and I cannot tell if he wants to help or ask me out.
I always loved writing, the freedom to express whatever and anything. It is about drilling into experiences that have not been articulated. When you find a writer to properly zoom into your reality you feel heard and seem by the new perspective. You just want to add to them in hope to aid others its purposeful. If you are looking for something to refocus on, see if your ambition serves just more than yourself. Whether I am horrid at first, that is okay I see beauty in being mediocre. I am as normal as they come, I found strength in that cause now I have a solid foundation.
I believe that in moments of self-discovery some of the most successful people felt average. At that point, the only way out was growing up. The movies and literature we all are inspired by are in fact a reflection of our life. There would not be a spider man if Peter Parker had been a jock or had rich parents, he was ordinary. Ben Stiller starred in the adaptation from James Thurber; The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Honestly, it is a great film so take my advice and watch it, I do not want to send you homework, but points were made in that film.
I am saying that we are constantly changing, and we must honor those movements even if they are short lived. They serve you and only make sense to you. We are created to give a piece of ourselves back to the world. Our love, talents, children, and beliefs are gifts that contribute to the evolution of life. We are history even if you do not see it, life will show you and make you a believer.
Thanks for reading…
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